I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
