we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
