my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
