if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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