Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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