Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
