apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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