just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
