i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
