Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
