I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You've changed since you got that strap on
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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