I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
