Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
