Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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