just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
