Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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