My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
