How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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