This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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