Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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