hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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