I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize