Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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