well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
