Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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