there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
