what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
