At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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