I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
