Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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