I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
