I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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