I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
