his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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