There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
