you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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