did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
