I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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