I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize