She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
