We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
