he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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