Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
