I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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