I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
