Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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