out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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