Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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