those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
