i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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