i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
