So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
