can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
