her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize