And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
