So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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