Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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