New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
