i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
